ZachIsHere

Cue the vision of a vibrant bustling dining room. The smell of fantastic food and the sound of dense people carrying two lbs of entitlement for every lb that makes up their bodies.

Two waiters walk up to a table ready to serve entree’s to four people. The ladies get their food served first and it is handed to them from their left side shortly after that the men get their food.

The waiter positions himself to be noticed by the table and waits for a break in the conversation. The people keep talking as if he is not on the same plane of existence as they are. He notices a slight lull in the talking and begins to speak knowing that is as good as it will get. “Is everything to our liking this evening?” All of the guests nod in satisfaction except for the oldest gentlemen, the head of the table.

“I ordered the chicken breast sandwich, I wanted a chicken breast sandwich.” he says. The waiter knows he is not perfect but he clearly remembers the gentlemen ordering the salad laid before him. The waiter pauses to try and figure out how to deal with this. “Sir, I do believe that is the salad you ordered this evening.” The old man looks up and shakes his head. After a small pause the lady to his left chimes in agreeing that it is the salad he ordered. “Well, I want a sandwich.” he says defiantly.

Without hesitation the waiter asks what he would like on the side with his new order and goes back to his station salad in hand. The sandwich goes in and the salad is voided off the ticket. The waiter takes a long breath before he pushes open the two doors that lead into the kitchen. The staff is up in arms. As soon as it looks like a server made a mistake that could have made them look bad, cost them time, cost them money, or the most important one of all; make them work fast they pounce.

“Why is this ticket voided?”

“Who needs this sandwich?”

“You servers are f#%^ing idiots.”

The waiter sits back and lets them get it all out. If you don’t let the kitchen staff vent things can really get ugly. After everyone had some time on their high horse the young man explained the situation and asked that the sandwich be made as quickly as possible seeing as how it could have been done in the amount of time everyone wasted going bat shit crazy. All parties get a few good eye rolls in and then everything returns to normal.

Knowing it will take a little time to put together that chicken breast the waiter returns to his table to check on everyone else and reassure the man that his food is coming soon. The waiter approaches his table and is interrupted before he can talk. “Young man,” the gentlemen who is salad-less and sandwich-less barks. “Everyone else has their food and I have nothing.” The waiter stares at the man to create a tense pause. The amount of non verbal communication going from the waiter to the customer could fill the Library of Congress. “Your food will be out momentarily, I apologize for the inconvenience.” The young man walks off in the direction of the kitchen speaking in hush tones to a fellow server. “He is going to fast play me.”

The chicken breast sandwich came out and it had fries with it. Before the plate hit the table the man barked some orders. The waiter allows himself to smile just a bit knowing he was right. For the rest of the night the man is going to demand things right before the server has a chance to do them, so he could be the one making him do it instead of doing it by his own will. Imagine ordering someone to get water for you when they are walking towards you with a water pitcher in a tone that suggests it would not have been given other wise. The server did it because he said so not because it is part of good service. There is a big difference.

The table continues the tug of war dinner they created and ends up leaving. The waiter picks up the ticket and gives it a look. On the bottom there is a note written than the food came to the table late.

The waiter takes a long deep breath and waits for management to come along…